


xii. electrocution

by tempestaurora



Series: it's okay, we're okay [whumpvember 2018] [12]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Social Media, Whumptober, YouTube, prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 17:30:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16602434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tempestaurora/pseuds/tempestaurora
Summary: On screen, Peter was setting up the device; placing the pads and wires along Tony’s right arm. "Alright, so basically I had my friend, Ned, write out a bunch of questions for us, and we’re gonna answer them. If we answer incorrectly, we get shocked.”“What?”“Shocked, Mr Stark.”“You’re going to electrocute me.”“Only if you don’t know the answer.”





	xii. electrocution

**Author's Note:**

> who needs whump in whumpvember not me

The camera showed Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, Iron Man, sitting on a sofa beside Peter Parker, that weird mystery kid who appeared out of nowhere as Tony Stark’s personal intern.

Tony rolled his eyes as Peter teared open a box. “This is ridiculous.”

“I agree,” Peter replied, pulling out a device. “That’s why we’re doing it.”

“Come _on_ , I have a business to run, you know that, right?”

Peter huffed, placing the device in his lap and looking over to Tony. “I asked you if you want to do this and you said, I quote, _Anything to get out of running my business._ ”

The two of them stared at each other in silence for a few beats before Tony groaned, falling back against the cushions. The screen cut to the device fully set up in front of them on the coffee table, and Peter sitting cross-legged on the cushions, a blinding smile on his face.

“Hi!” he said with a wave. When Tony said nothing, he looked over. “Say hi.”

“ _Hi,_ ” Tony drawled.

“We’re doing this because Pepper said Tony needs better press and my friend Ned is obsessed with videos like these right now.”

“This isn’t going to be something super weird, right, Parker?”

“Not weird,” Peter replied. “Painful, maybe.”

Tony sat up. “Are you trying to kill Iron Man? Has this been a ploy the whole time? Are you actually Iron Man’s biggest enemy?”

Peter rolled his eyes, replying sarcastically, “Yes. I am Iron Man’s arch nemesis. I have multiple Iron Man items of clothing and matching Iron Man helmet and repulsor set because I really just want to get into your mindset occasionally, to figure out how best to destroy you.”

Tony stared at him for a moment, blank, then: “You really have an Iron Man helmet?”

“I was ten, shut up.” Tony was already laughing and Peter shoved him lightly back into the sofa. “Stop laughing or I’ll tell you the trauma that came along with owning that thing.”

Tony rolled his eyes, but he pressed his lips together to hold back the laugh. “You have Iron Man helmet-related trauma? What, did it get stuck on your head?”

“Three words, Mr Stark: Stark Expo 2011.”

Tony’s eyes widened. “ _No._ You were not that dumb kid trying to take on the drones.”

Peter stretched his arms out. “Me? A dumb kid? How absolutely realistic is that?”

“You’re in so much troub-”

The screen cut over to Peter setting up the device; placing the pads and wires along Tony’s right arm. “Alright, so basically I had my friend, Ned, write out a bunch of questions for us, and we’re gonna answer them. If we answer incorrectly, we get shocked.”

“What?”

“Shocked, Mr Stark.”

“You’re going to electrocute me.”

“Only if you don’t know the answer.”

“Christ, kid. What have I ever done to you? How’d you even get this thing anyway? Your Aunt wouldn’t have bought this for you.”

Peter rolled his eyes. “I used the Stark Industries company credit card.”

“You made _me_ pay for this shit? You’re going to electrocute me and you’re _charging me_ for the experience?”

Peter laughed, adjusting the dial. “Pepper said that anything I need in project Peter’s YouTube Extravaganza can be charged to SI as long as it shows you in a positive light somehow.”

“You’re Tony Stark propaganda.”

Peter shrugged. “Sure, but I was doing the exact same thing _before_ Pepper started sponsoring me for it. It’s only propaganda because your company is paying for it now.”

The screen cut and Tony was lying back against the cushions, arm stretched out and a hand over his eyes.

“First question! We’re starting easy – the dial is only at five. Mr Stark, what grade did I get in Spanish last year?”

Tony looked at him, incredulous. “How am I supposed to know that?”

“You know more about me than I do,” Peter replied, rolling his eyes. “You know my social security number. And that’s a feat, because you don’t even know your own.”

Tony huffed, rubbing his free hand against his forehead. “You got a B+. You should’ve got an A- at the very least but you stopped paying attention half way through the written assessment because there was a squirrel outside the window.”

Peter blinked, then broke out into unrestrained laughter, nodding.

“Alright! Alright – question two. The dial is at seven. Mr Stark, can I burp the alphabet?”

“Are you asking for permission?”

“No! I’m asking if you think I have the ability to do it.”

Tony stretched as he thought, then shrugged. “Sure. Why not. I believe in you.”

“I appreciate that, Mr Stark,” Peter said with a smile, “but I can only make it up to O. So unfortunately-” Peter reached forward, hitting the button, his grin stretching across his face as Tony swore, his right hand cramping in place as the electricity coursed through him.

“I can’t even move my arm- Oh my god! Parker- _Parker_ -”

Peter flicked the switch and Tony relaxed, continuing to mumble swear words under his breath.

“Question three!”

“No- _no._ I’m not going through that again.”

“You won’t!” Peter said. “This time the dial’s at ten. It’ll be worse.”

“ _Parker._ ”

“Come _on,_ Mr Stark.”

“Why is this entertaining to people?”

Peter shrugged. “Some people just like to watch others have fun and be in pain, that’s just their thing.”

“It’s unhealthy.”

“Question three.” They stared at each other for a beat before Tony sighed, waving a hand for Peter to ask. “What character did I play in my sixth grade rendition of _Toy Story._ ”

Tony, ever so slowly, turned his head to face Peter. “You were in a _Toy Story_ play.”

Peter nodded and on screen, the camera zoomed in on Tony’s face, filled with disappointment.

“I’m horrified by you,” Tony said.

Peter grinned. “Got an answer?”

“Of course I don’t have an answer – I haven’t even seen that movie in a decade!”

“Oh, really? We’ll have to watch it some time.”

“I only remember like three characters. Woody, Buzz and Jessie-”

“Jessie’s from _Toy Story 2._ We only did the first one.”

Tony sighed heavily. “God, knowing you, you played the slinky dog or something.”

“I _didn’t_ ,” Peter said, “but fun fact about that: my friend Ned played the front half and had the speaking role, and this other kid called Flash played the butt and they had this big slinky connecting them.” Tony shook his head, possibly regretting ever getting to know Peter Parker. “Okay, okay – I’ll put the dial up to a twelve but I’ll give you three options to choose from?”

Tony seemed to think this over for a moment before waving a hand. “Fine. I’ve dealt with worse than an electric shock anyway.”

“That’s super badass but also super sad.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Just give me the options.”

“Okay! Okay! Your three options as to who I played in my sixth grade rendition of _Toy Story_ are: Woody, Little Bo Peep and Rex.”

Tony studied Peter for a moment, as if trying to discern the answer. “I’m kind of hoping it’s not Little Bo Peep because that’s just a one way ticket to five years of bullying.” Peter snorted. “Green dinosaur. You were the dinosaur.”

Peter grinned and Tony could see it was wrong before it happened. Peter flicked the switch and Tony swore incredibly loudly as Peter cackled. Eventually, Peter turned it off.

He put on a bad Southern accent as he said, “I was Sheriff Woody! The lead in the sixth grade musical-”

“It was a _musical_?!”

The screen cut off again, to where Peter was pulling off the pads from Tony’s arm and saying goodbye to the camera.

“Wait a second, we didn’t hook you up to that torture device,” Tony protested.

Peter shrugged. “Oh well – maybe next time!”

“Peter-”

“Bye! I hope you enjoyed the video!”

“Parker – you just put me through-”

“Say goodbye, Mr Stark!”

“- all that shit and you’re not even hooking yourself up? I cannot believe-”

 

6,024,698 views

_@IronManFan:_ oh my god oh my god oh my god

 

_@TonkyStonkIsMyHero:_ this is the best thing i’ve ever seen zfghjkl

 

_@TheNedInTheChair:_ peter was actually a great sheriff woody but the entire musical was badly written and burned into our collective memories for all time. in other news, peter do you think we could get the new fallout game on the SI credit card

_@TheTonyStark: @TheNedInTheChair_ You even try it and you’re both grounded for life.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! talk to me in the comments plssss! 
> 
> tomorrow is "stay" and i posted a fic last night about harley, peter and tony going to comic con in the wayward sons series!


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